“Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy racing back and forth between the partners. Some relationships are the slow, dark dance of death.” ? Colette Dowling ?
The beauty in the dance is flowing seamlessly with your partner. I have learned that dancing too long with the wrong partner can bring much frustration, discomfort and even pain, depending on the depth of the struggle. We are all free and responsible for choosing the partner whose energy and style flow with us best.

This may be hard to explain or even grasp, but from what I am learning and understanding… for most of us, it’s not about forever. It’s about enjoying what we have while we have it and not getting too attached to or wrapped up in what we think the outcome should or should not be. This may go against some of our religious beliefs and that is maybe one of the reasons I am having a hard time with it myself.

Many time you and I will fall in love or think we are in love; we make plans for “forever” when we cannot see what the future holds. I hear often that it is about the journey, not the destination. Finally that is starting to make more since to me. While growing up, people always said; “Birds of the feather flock together”. It wasn’t till my 30’s did that phrase finally resonate with me, now this one is coming more clear as I pass through my Mid-Life Passage.

I have had many loves; some deeper, more intense and longer lasting then others. Three of them that I know of cheated on me and in a couple relationships I was temped to cheat myself, I just never did. Looking back; almost every relationship brought value and meaning to my life. I learned from all of them; some good things, some bad.


Relationships don’t have to have road block. They’re merely speed bumps; you just have to slow down, take a look around and make sure you don’t run anyone over.   -    CainO’


Something I wrote to my Jr. High School Sweetheart, March 2015. She was dealing with things in her past and with Ex’s, she has Taurus in her chart and Taurus can be traumatized. Her and I had a good relationship, though it was short lived; my folks divorces and we moved away. Who knows what would have happened if I had stayed in Oklahoma like I wanted:

“History is to be learned from not repeated. Its good to revisit it with a healthy mind from a psychological perspective, try and look at it from an outsiders point of view, as if it was your friends experience and not your own. When we can be unattached from the situation, we can learn and grow from it. I’m dealing with a certain amount of things too and its not always easy. I try to also put myself in their shoes to try and understand what they were feeling.

I was soo angry when my Ex went behind my back in 2012, but I knew she was possessed or something. I could see her soul through her eyes (a gift I have); I knew she was hurting, I knew she didn’t want to hurt me, but I could see that she just couldn’t help herself, she was out of control. I recently learned that she was also going through an astrological transition and I wouldn’t say it was meant to be, but in some ways it was.

For every ending, there are new beginnings. She truly wasn’t right for me, I was freed to go find someone who is. I may have found her, but time will tell. Another thing I am learning is that its not necessarily about “forever”. Its about enjoying what we have while we have it. You were a very important part of my life, just as she was. I enjoyed having you both in my life and even though I wanted things to be different, I don’t regret! Most the women in my life have been a blessing in one form or another” :)

I wasn’t as upset with my Ex2012 for “the other men” as I was her going behind my back, ripping me off and screwing me over. We started out Polyamorous, so we could have maybe went back if it was approached differently. But non the less; relationships are about the dance, we should enjoy the dance the best we can while we can.



That song gets me every time… I still have that fairy tell dream of happily ever after, and I don’t see why not? My grandparents are my hero’s, they have been together since they were like 16 years old. I am sure they have had some rough patches, but they have a bond that anyone would and everyone should desire in their love life. My new goal since I may never find that “forever” like they have been able to; is to not expect any outcome from my future partner or partners, just to enjoy them and life as though each day is my last. As if it is our first month together and be as close to bliss as I possibly can with every waking hour. I have almost always worked on this in most every relationship, but we all tend to loose focus on that and get caught up in what should or should not be, rather then what we have and what brought us together in the first place. So let’s love each other mike our pets love us!?!?


David-Ray – “…I never see my brother as he is, for that is far beyond perception. What i see in him is merely what i wish to see, because it stands for what i want to be the truth.” – taken from ACIM lesson 335

I don’t buy that. Maybe more like 33% that… You see what you want along with what your brethren wants you to see, but you also see truth past your own blindness even though your brethren may try not to show all that they are. With experience, choice and wisdom, you see more truth then fiction. “CainO”

David-Ray – If I’m reading Krishnamaruti right, it’s when you start to honestly say “I don’t know.” that you start seeing what’s really there. I do agree with you that there is some interplay of mutual delusions.

8 thoughts on “Relationships

    • I don’t want to sound cruel, but the Primal Zodiac is insufficient. You cannot tell by Sun and Year signs alone if you are a match; trust me, that is where I started in 2010 and it doesn’t work. You need to look at all your signs; Sun, Ascendant, Moon, MERCURY especially, Venus, Mars and so forth. However, I will brake it down for you and give my honest opinion with the limited information. If I am being critical, I am having a bad week; but I will help where I can.

      Aries + Dragon = Tyrannosaurus Rex
      Cancer + Tiger = Vampire Bat

      I dated a T-Rex and at first glance I would say “Danger” but I know your real astrology is not the same.

      The Dragon Chinese Zodiac sign is equivalent to Aries.
      The Tiger Chinese Zodiac sign is equivalent to Aquarius.

      Cancer and Aries is NOT compatible, but that is the Sun sign. Though the Sun sign is more important then the year you were born and has more power over who you are, it is one that people say is less important. Sun is soul, this is how you connect in ways you will never know. Mercury is what I believe to be the MOST important, because Mercury is communication. My Mercury is Virgo and so I am analytical and even though Capricorns are the most critical signs, Virgo matches Capricorn and therefore can be critical also. Aries is Assertive and aggressive, go getter; but they can be needy and selfish. Cancer is home base; family focused, loves kids and animal. They can be crabby, ADD and negative; but not as negative as their neighbor the Gemini.

      Tiger/Aquarius and Dragon/Aries and a Sextile position and the second best position you can get, so there you are good. However; this sign is out there with the outer planets and you really cannot rely on this aspect to determine if you have a good relationship or not. That being said; anyone can make any sign work, some will just be more challenging then others. The more astrologically compatible you are, the less challenges you will have.

      What is yours and his birthday; month, day and year? I will post a blog on the results for you.

  1. Hi, I was wondering if you would be willing to do a comparability for a female born on 16-Feb-83 at 12:well in Dayton Ohio and a male born on 23-Mar-1982 in Idaho…sorry I don’t have his time or city.

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