“Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy racing back and forth between the partners. Some relationships are the slow, dark dance of death.” ? Colette Dowling ?
The beauty in the dance is flowing seamlessly with your partner. I have learned that dancing too long with the wrong partner can bring much frustration, discomfort and even pain, depending on the depth of the struggle. We are all free and responsible for choosing the partner whose energy and style flow with us best.
This may be hard to explain or even grasp, but from what I am learning and understanding… for most of us, it’s not about forever. It’s about enjoying what we have while we have it and not getting too attached to or wrapped up in what we think the outcome should or should not be. This may go against some of our religious beliefs and that is maybe one of the reasons I am having a hard time with it myself.
Many time you and I will fall in love or think we are in love; we make plans for “forever” when we cannot see what the future holds. I hear often that it is about the journey, not the destination. Finally that is starting to make more since to me. While growing up, people always said; “Birds of the feather flock together”. It wasn’t till my 30’s did that phrase finally resonate with me, now this one is coming more clear as I pass through my Mid-Life Passage.
I have had many loves; some deeper, more intense and longer lasting then others. Three of them that I know of cheated on me and in a couple relationships I was temped to cheat myself, I just never did. Looking back; almost every relationship brought value and meaning to my life. I learned from all of them; some good things, some bad.
Something I wrote to my Jr. High School Sweetheart, March 2015. She was dealing with things in her past and with Ex’s, she has Taurus in her chart and Taurus can be traumatized. Her and I had a good relationship, though it was short lived; my folks divorces and we moved away. Who knows what would have happened if I had stayed in Oklahoma like I wanted:
“History is to be learned from not repeated. Its good to revisit it with a healthy mind from a psychological perspective, try and look at it from an outsiders point of view, as if it was your friends experience and not your own. When we can be unattached from the situation, we can learn and grow from it. I’m dealing with a certain amount of things too and its not always easy. I try to also put myself in their shoes to try and understand what they were feeling.
I was soo angry when my Ex went behind my back in 2012, but I knew she was possessed or something. I could see her soul through her eyes (a gift I have); I knew she was hurting, I knew she didn’t want to hurt me, but I could see that she just couldn’t help herself, she was out of control. I recently learned that she was also going through an astrological transition and I wouldn’t say it was meant to be, but in some ways it was.
For every ending, there are new beginnings. She truly wasn’t right for me, I was freed to go find someone who is. I may have found her, but time will tell. Another thing I am learning is that its not necessarily about “forever”. Its about enjoying what we have while we have it. You were a very important part of my life, just as she was. I enjoyed having you both in my life and even though I wanted things to be different, I don’t regret! Most the women in my life have been a blessing in one form or another”
I wasn’t as upset with my Ex2012 for “the other men” as I was her going behind my back, ripping me off and screwing me over. We started out Polyamorous, so we could have maybe went back if it was approached differently. But non the less; relationships are about the dance, we should enjoy the dance the best we can while we can.
That song gets me every time… I still have that fairy tell dream of happily ever after, and I don’t see why not? My grandparents are my hero’s, they have been together since they were like 16 years old. I am sure they have had some rough patches, but they have a bond that anyone would and everyone should desire in their love life. My new goal since I may never find that “forever” like they have been able to; is to not expect any outcome from my future partner or partners, just to enjoy them and life as though each day is my last. As if it is our first month together and be as close to bliss as I possibly can with every waking hour. I have almost always worked on this in most every relationship, but we all tend to loose focus on that and get caught up in what should or should not be, rather then what we have and what brought us together in the first place. So let’s love each other mike our pets love us!?!?
David-Ray – “…I never see my brother as he is, for that is far beyond perception. What i see in him is merely what i wish to see, because it stands for what i want to be the truth.” – taken from ACIM lesson 335
I don’t buy that. Maybe more like 33% that… You see what you want along with what your brethren wants you to see, but you also see truth past your own blindness even though your brethren may try not to show all that they are. With experience, choice and wisdom, you see more truth then fiction. “CainO”
David-Ray – If I’m reading Krishnamaruti right, it’s when you start to honestly say “I don’t know.” that you start seeing what’s really there. I do agree with you that there is some interplay of mutual delusions.