77 Questions to Get the Conversation Started
Emotional Intimacy Questions
1. What 3 compliments do you most enjoy hearing from me?
2. What has been your favorite Calendar “IT” moment?
3. When talking about me to your friends name the 3 characteristics
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that you use to describe me?
4. What makes you come alive?
5. What sense(s) (sight, touch, smell, taste, hearing) am I taking for
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granted in our marriage?
6. Do my words tear you down or build you up? When?
7. What do I say to you that puts a smile on your face?
8. Do you sense that I hear what you are feeling?
9. What emotional mountain do you face day-to-day?
10. What gift have I kept from you that should be shared?
11. How can we show respect to one another?
12. What do you most admire about me?
13. When was the last time I hugged you and said “I Love You”?
…and the two will become ONE.
Mark 10:8
Intellectual Intimacy Questions
14. If our marriage was a sport which sport would it be? Why?
15. Do I have an “on-fire” attitude for our marriage?
16. If you could do what you always wanted to do, what would it be?
17. Where do I instinctively turn when things are not working in our
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marriage?
18.
What can we do to stay focused on the foundation of our
marriage?
19.
What distractions have diverted us from interacting with each
other?
20.
When does opening up seem risky to you?
21.
What victories have built up our marriage?
22. Are we over committed to other stuff and not committed enough to
!
each other?
23. How are we grounded in our marriage? What’s our foundation built
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upon?
24. How can I challenge your thinking without crushing your dreams?
25. What boundaries (kids, work, parents) should we have in our
!
marriage?
26. Toilet seat up or down?
…and the two will become ONE.
Mark 10:8
Spiritual Intimacy Questions
27. How has the power of God broken destructive patterns in our
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marriage?
28. How has your life been radically changed by Jesus?
29. Who could you share your testimony with someone to change their
!
marriage?
30. What do I do that is providing Godly leadership to my family?
31. When was the last time I prayed an honest prayer of thanksgiving
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for my spouse?
32. What blessing have we seen in our marriage?
33. What hardships has God used in our lives?
34. A time we prayed an earnest prayer together?
35. Why is spirituality harder to talk about than sports, work, and the
!
weather?
36. Are we open to letting God use both our strengths and
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weaknesses in our marriage?
37. What crazy God thing might God be calling us to do in our
!
marriage?
38. Are there times in our day when we could listen to God’s voice?
39. What three qualities of God do you see in me?
…and the two will become ONE.
Mark 10:8
Recreational Intimacy Questions
40. What sport did you most enjoy while growing up, why?
41. If there was one activity we could do together what would it be?
42. Name 3 activities that reenergize you?
43. What is the most memorable activity we’ve done together?
44. Do we seek adventure together or solitude?
45. What activities take your mind off of your troubles?
46. What one activity have you always wanted to try? Why haven’t
!
you?
47. Name a way that I can support you in your chosen activity?
48. Do we compete or work together while enjoying our time together?
49. How can we carve out time to be active together?
50. What is your favorite season to be outdoors? Why?
51. Name an activity that lends itself to relaxed communication?
52. Where have you always dreamed of visiting?
…and the two will become ONE.
Mark 10:8
Financial Intimacy Questions
53. Are you a saver or spender, honestly?
54. When was the last time we looked at our finances together?
55. What treasure (thing, trip, person) is undermining my ability to let
!
go and love you?
56. Could changing our spending and savings habits make a drastic
!
change in our marriage?
57. What non-profit organization could we give to and connect with?
58. Does giving involve a risk-taking mentality on our part?
59. What steps do we need to take to be more open and honest about
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our finances?
60. How have we measured our worth? Do we need to recalculate?
61. Do our money issues rob us of intimacy? Because…
62. Do our spending and saving habits reflect positively on our kids?
63. What would you do with $1 million, $5 million, $10 million?
64. What changes can we make to our finances so we are on the
!
same page?
…and the two will become ONE.
Mark 10:8
Sexual Intimacy Questions
65. What touch(es) would you enjoy during foreplay?
66. If there was only one place I could kiss you, where would it be?
67. What 3 features do you most like about my body?
68. Would you rather make love in the back seat of our car or on the
!
top of a mountain? Why?
69. If we had a Calendar “IT”, love making, moment once a week what
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day would it be, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
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Friday, or Saturday?
70. When was the last time we made love?
71. Which would you prefer I lick off of you, Whip Cream or chocolate
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syrup?
72. What can I do to pleasure you when we make love?
73. Where was your favorite place to make love?
74. What do I do that attracts you to me?
75. What changes could we make to our room to make it a Love
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Shack?
76. What’s your favorite sexual position? Why?
77. Are you willing to experiment and try new? What?
…and the two will become ONE.
Mark 10:8